Posted 17 March 2012 - 09:54 AM
My strongest clay related memory was during my second semester of ceramics. It is not one that I wish to repeat. Intriged by how well plaster could capture an image, I started to make casts. I cast a gourd to make a ladle. I cast my hand. I cast sprigs to stick on some pots. I cast small stamps to decorate a bowl. I cast the nieghbors small yappy dog. The nieghborhood was so quite after that. ( no, just kidding no dogs were harmed) Then I envisioned a large pot with three faces encompassing it's belly, kind of a Greek looking thing I thought, and the face, of cource my own. I got a book from the library for instruction, bought plaster, brought home a bag of clay to use as a way to pool the plaster around my mug. Got some straws to stuff up my nose and talked my girlfriend, Cheryl, into pouring the plaster. Surrounded by a posse of supportive children, her four and my two, ages ranging from two to ten, I positioned myself on the floor. Nesting my head in pillows with a wall of wet clay secured by a long rag framing my face, I inserted the straws, closed my eyes and felt the cool plaster flow over my face. "This will be great!" I thought as I lay there trying to limit my breathing so as not to disturb the plaster, poking at it from time to time to test it's hardness. The book I obtained from the library said to "Grease your face well before covering with plaster." Check, did that. What it failed to mention was that having a beard could cause complications. I had thought of about it, I even trimmed off the shaggest parts and applied lots of Vaseline, just in case, but when it came time to remove this large, hot, heavy, entombing mass of plaster, we had become one. Not in a Zen sence, more of a cement galoshes sence. "STAY CALM!!!!!" I screemed to myself as I managed to feel my way across the floor and into a chair, all the while tugging at this immovable, semmingly permanet glob of plaster. Everything seemed muffled and quiet like listoning from the inside of a tomb. Even the children were quiet, Awe struck I expect and I bet a bit frightened. I expect it was like the scean from Aliens Two where that hatch-ling grabs Sigourney Weaver by the neck and she struggles with it for her life trying to get it off. "MMMMMMM MMMMM MMMMM" I said as loudly as possible. It's hard to give instructions with 10 pounds of plaster hanging from your mustache, "What?" "What did he say?" I heard Cheryl ask the kids. "Oil can! I think he said Oil can." piped in one helpful child " No No I think he said "Butter knife. Get me a butter knife!" said my oldest. I shook my cast vigorously in agreement. Armed with a butter knife I slowly, painfully started to pry it off. Insert knife handle and push down on your cheek untill the hairs pull out and repeat. In time I managed to pull the top part loose from my head and was able to peer out over the top. Just glad at that point that I could at least see. I still was not sure how I was going to get it off my chin. As unpleasent as this event had been thus far, it's unpleasentness was pale when compared to the recurring nightmare that was unfolding in my mind. The nightmare of being driven somewhere to have it removed. It was next to unbearable. First of all it might be hard to explain, especially when you can't speak. Secondly is there anything anywhere in any medical book that covers this depth of stupidy. Worse yet, I might live through the procedure and the doctor or archeologist, I hadn't decided which would be best suited to extract my head, would see who it was that had encased his face in plaster. Reciprocating saw. hammer and chisel, air chisel, T.N.T. what would be their tool of choice. I was tutored by my father, raised with the philosophy to alway try to laugh your way through the tough parts of life. That cowboy sence of humor that no matter how bad the ordeal, if you lived through it, something about it just had to be funny. I had not yet arrived to this conclustion but the kids had. Bless thier hearts. I'm not sure which kid snickered first, but there it was, that muffled sound of a surpressed laugh. I'm sure that seeing you dad sitting in a chair, looking like the early planning stages of MT Rushmore, just might strike you funny, and they were right. This was ridicules and it was funny and it deserve a snicker or two. I did eventually succeed in getting the cast removed without the help of a trained professional. I uses Nair. It is a hair removing product, sort of like Drain-O with fragrance added. It will remove hair and with prolonged contact, skin, but most importantly it can remove unwanted facial casts from your face. I poured it in, let it burn it's way through, while I pried with the knife. I still have the cast. I put a picture of it and some pieces I made with it in my gallary. I even talked my two boys into letting me cast their faces. I still haven't made the three faced pot. Guess I still can. Aint Clay Fun Kabe